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Your commitment can help strengthen his recovery.
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Addiction Is a "Family Problem"
and Recovery Is a "Family Process".
Whether your loved one sought treatment on his own or as the result of an Intervention, the love, support, and ongoing recovery commitment of friends and family are extremely important to his success. The changing of "Old Behavior" includes the entire family, not just the addict.
At this point, your feelings may range from anger to complete despair or even total shut-out. These feelings can be dealt with in family groups and outside Alcoholics Anonymous, Alateen, and Co-Dependents Anonymous meetings. What's important is that family and friends stop old habits and ways of dealing with their addicted loved one.
"Old Family Behaviors" can include things such as enabling or "loving the addict to death" all the way to perpetuating unhealthy hostility, anger, and even emotional abuse directed towards the addict. It is crucial that everyone possible gets behind the commitment to recovery and a new way of life for the addict and family alike.
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| While your loved one is in Treatment, family members will be encouraged to attend Family Groups and outside Al-Anon, AlaTeen, and CoDA meetings. In Family Groups you will be addressing underlying hurts and resentments from both sides within a safe and guided environment. It is very important to the recovering family and to the addict's ongoing success in recovery to address these hurts, resentments, and any other serious family related issues while the addict is in Treatment.
NOTE: Individual "Family Focused Sessions" will be set up for clients
with out-of-town families who are unable to attend normal Family
Groups.
In Step-Up Recovery Extended-Care Treatment and even in Sober Living Environments, recovering addicts and their families will have the opportunity to spend more time together and continue working on building healthier relationships with one another
Aftercare for families such as the ongoing attendance at outside support groups is strongly encouraged.
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Families find comfort knowing their loved one is getting help.
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What to Do and Expect in Your Loved One's Early Recovery
When your recovering loved one exits Treatment, please remember this is a PROCESS. A person newly sober in recovery will typically spend MOST of his time working on his sobriety and just trying to stay sober -- i.e. in meetings, with a sponsor, doing step-work. This period is not about neglecting you or those who went there through it all; it is about the addict trying to figure out "How to STAY SOBER." Try to offer patience, understanding, and ongoing support for his recovery.
It's important to...
- Have new family rules to follow.
- Understand that as the addict stays sober there will be changes in roles and responsibilities. This can be welcomed and difficult at the same time. It's not easy to change old behaviors, but if everyone sticks to healthy goals, it's well worth it!
- Early on, promote a minimum amount of structure. No more free rides! A recovering alcoholic and/or addict must learn to be fully self-supporting through his own contributions. It's for his good -- and yours!
- Keep an open flow of communication. A huge part of the recovery process is learning how to share and deal with your feelings in a healthy way as the feelings arise. This may be unfamiliar to your family and even uncomfortable or awkward at times, but it is a much healthier course for the entire family.
- Show affection and appreciate one another.
- Know that an addict has to change his entire way of doing things. This means New People, New Places, and New Things. Try to show support which will help him stay on course.
- Make time for you and your feelings. It's been a long haul! Don't forget you, or taking care of your feelings and needs. You can find a lot of support in specialized groups for the families of substance abusers such as Al-Anon and Al-Ateen.
- Continue ongoing Family Counseling if necessary. There are many outside family counselors experienced with substance abuse. This may be an important part of the After Care Plan for your family.
- Beware of Relapse. Relapse is when a person in recovery drinks alcohol or uses drugs. It may be a one-time thing or last over an extended period of time. Regardless, educate yourself before hand on relapse and relapse prevention. There are specific warning signs such as old behaviors, not going to meetings, unexplained absences, going back to old places and hanging out with old friends.
If you suspect that your loved one has relapsed or if you see the warning signs, call the counselor where your loved one received treatment.
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Keep an open flow of communication. A huge part of the recovery process is learning how to share and deal with your feelings in a healthy way as the feelings arise.
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Hope for the Families of the Dually-Diagnosed Addicts…
At times adding a psychiatric condition to active substance abuse may make families and friends feel hopeless. Watching your loved one succumb to a vicious cycle of self-medication and emotional breakdown can be heart-wrenching.
However, recovery for the dually-diagnosed addict is more than possible. It happens every day. Recovering in a group with others who face similar life challenges can inspire. The authentic inspiration of witnessing other dually-diagnosed addicts get better is not easily mimicked outside of the group-recovery environment.
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Getting into treatment, getting sober, and receiving appropriate psychiatric care and medication can greatly reduce symptom severity, thus helping the dually-diagnosed addict feel better and think more clearly. With such progress, he stands a much better chance of maintaining his substance abuse recovery and coping with psychological disorders.
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Step-Up Recovery, Inc., P.O. Box 5525, Orange, CA 92863-5525, Office: 714-771-4522, Fax: 714-769-4522
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